he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
