Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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