the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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