The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
