Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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