i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Text me some of your sweat
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
