did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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