I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
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