you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
