i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
