Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
