butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
He has the fingertips of a God
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