you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Randomize
