Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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