Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
