im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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