I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
