Where did you get a picture of my penis
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
