Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
