I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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