Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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