Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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