Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
