i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
