Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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