dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
