God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
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