didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
