Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize