Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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