Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
