I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Houston, we have a blender
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
