Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
