we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
