opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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