Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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