i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
how does that bad decision feel?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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