omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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