At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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