lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Randomize
