And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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