just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
