Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
