You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
