Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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