the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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