At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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