the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
