seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
