Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I have fence marks all over my body
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
