so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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