he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Such a big mess for such a small penis
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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