He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
