So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
