new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
They took my balls.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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