Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
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