Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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