could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
