i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
