Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
