do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's shark week go big or go home
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
