She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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