Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
