how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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