Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
