i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
