so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
